{"id":9938,"date":"2018-11-24T17:28:50","date_gmt":"2018-11-24T16:28:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=9938"},"modified":"2018-12-06T16:55:36","modified_gmt":"2018-12-06T15:55:36","slug":"posh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=9938","title":{"rendered":"Posh<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Posh<\/h5>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018I think you\u2019re going to like this place,\u2019 he said \u2018it\u2019s posh.\u2019
\n       And I laughed, because actually it was a good, if obvious joke and I liked him for making it and no, I didn\u2019t think he was making fun of me. It was sweet.
\n       It was when we were walking through the lobby to the bar that he said this and I caught sight of my reflection in a mirror, laughing, and I thought – do I look a bit demented? Because this wasn\u2019t a laugh, it was more of a grimace. I wish I could master a closed-mouth smile, one of those serene mysterious smiles, but I smile like a chipmunk. Bloody awful. That was twenty years ago and since then I have made all kinds of claims and jokes about why I don\u2019t smile, that fashion stole my smile, implying that I\u2019d adopted the catwalk pout to advance my career, but really it was the sight of myself in that hotel in Manchester with David ushering me to a quiet table at the back of the bar for our first date. Teeth were starting to be a big thing back then, everyone was having their\u2019s done, veneers, crowns, whitening. But whatever you did to my teeth smiling still made me look like I\u2019d cracked my face in half. It wasn\u2019t nice. It was horrible. I was a wild animal.
\n       \u2018This is the Octagon bar,\u2019 he said. \u2018It\u2019s nice, isn\u2019t it?\u2019
\n       \u2018It is. Do you take all your dates here?\u2019
\n       \u2018No, just you, because you\u2019re Posh.\u2019
\n       And I stopped myself from laughing with a severe wrench.
\n       I saw that the barman didn\u2019t just recognise him, they knew each other and exchanged friendly, familiar greetings. I half-expected him to say, \u2018Back again sir?\u2019 But I suppose he was being discreet, which is what you expect in top hotels. David lined up the bar menu and straightened it, so it was centred on the table.
\n       \u2018I like things just right,\u2019 he said.
\n       I said, \u2018Well wouldn\u2019t anyone?\u2019
\n       We\u2019d met at a charity football match he was playing in. He\u2019d seen my picture and asked if I could be invited. I put it about that I wasn\u2019t interested in football and didn\u2019t know who he was, but I knew who he was. Of course I did.
\n       So here we were. This was where he had brought me.
\n       \u2018I liked your joke,\u2019 I said, \u2018it was funny, but remember all we ever see when we\u2019re touring is the inside of hotel suites and mostly they\u2019re the same. Seen one, you\u2019ve seen them all.\u2019
\n       Me and the other girls at that time, we just spent an awful lot of time in hotel suites. They were nothing special. I mean, this was before Harvey Weinstein. When we first started to go to luxury hotels, Geri said, did we notice the women? Because it wasn\u2019t all businessmen in suits. Self-made women, ex-wives, trophy wives, it\u2019s easy to tell them apart. The ex-wives have afternoon tea with other wives, they are in groups. The trophy wives are hanging on their husband\u2019s arms like Rolex watches. It was the self-made women who came in alone and always with expensive luggage. Geri admired them, but none of us wanted to be fifty and having to go down to dinner on your own or order up room service eating a meal in your complimentary bath robe in front of the telly and a couple of miniatures from the mini bar.
\n       He asked if we shared or each of us had our own suite. I told him that in the beginning we bunked up together but as we grew more famous we had to have our own space. And this could be a problem because honestly, there aren\u2019t that many suites in most hotels, which is why posh hotels were part of the everyday bread and butter of our lives, the posher the better. Though there was always a suite bigger than all the others, usually called the Presidential or something like that, and we all knew who thought that that was hers.
\n       \u2018So there\u2019s a pecking order?\u2019 he said.
\n       \u2018Too right.\u2019
\n       \u2018Well, that\u2019s ridiculous because everyone knows you\u2019re the best looking.\u2019
\n       \u2018Do you think so?\u2019
\n       \u2018Of course. You\u2019ve got class.\u2019
\n       \u2018Thank you David. Just don\u2019t call me by that name, you won\u2019t will you?\u2019
\n       \u2018I won\u2019t. Does anyone ever call you Vicky?\u2019
\n       \u2018No. And don\u2019t you start.\u2019 For although having a name with four syllables is a bit of a mouthful, I was named after a queen and that\u2019s important to me.
\n       The barman came over with our drinks. David had a martini, I think he was trying to impress, but I\u2019d just ordered a diet coke. The ceiling above us was very far away, it was yes, a really grand yet sort of secret place he had brought me to. The hotel was vast. It stood in the middle of the city like it owned the place, and he said, noticing me looking round, \u2018Did you know this is supposed to be where Mr Rolls met Mrs Royce? I mean, you don\u2019t get posher than that, do you? Well, not outside London.\u2019
\n       I said, \u2018Do you miss it? London I mean. Because that\u2019s where you\u2019re from isn\u2019t it?\u2019
\n       And this was what we talked about for ages. He grew up in Hackney, I was born in Essex, I\u2019m technically an Essex girl, but we moved to Hertfordshire. He asked if I was actually posh, and I said, \u2018Well maybe more than the others. By comparison, you know.\u2019 And tried not to smile, again.
\n       The bar was filling up and people were looking at us, we were recognised.
\n       \u2018You see, this is why when we\u2019re on tour we just stay up in our suites and order room service and have fights with each other.\u2019
\n       \u2018Pillow fights? Like in girls\u2019 schools?\u2019 He laughed now, a high giggle.
\n       \u2018No,\u2019 I said, seriously. \u2018Mostly we argue about business finances, you know.\u2019
\n       Of course, I didn\u2019t expect him to understand, because when you\u2019re a footballer you\u2019re on salary, aren\u2019t you? You\u2019re bought and paid for. You don\u2019t know about the whole world us young girls were having to manage and make decisions about, you\u2019ve got someone who\u2019s supposed to be looking after you, looking after everything, but can you trust them? Some people I can think of are relaxed about others looking after their money and some of us think that every day they\u2019re trying to shaft us. That\u2019s nothing to smile about, is it?
\n       But both of us were starting to relax, and I was thinking that I quite liked him, that he was really a lovely boy and that he was trying so hard to impress, bringing me here, so that when he tried to persuade me to have a proper drink I wavered then decided to lash out and go for what he suggested, a negroni. He said I wouldn\u2019t be disappointed.
\n       \u2018Colour of rubies,\u2019 he said. \u2018I hope you like it.\u2019
\n       \u2018Who doesn\u2019t like rubies?\u2019 I said right back. I wasn\u2019t hinting, I can buy my own jewels.
\n       He called over the barman and gave him the order and then under the table he took my hand. His finger curled in to my palm. It was a lovely gesture. It was sweet, it was gentle and god knows, I\u2019ve had my share of being lunged at by TV hosts and promoters.
\n       Later I felt that there was the potential for each of us to enhance the other. Do you know what they said about that old ballroom dancing couple, not from Strictly, way before that? Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. My mum told me. \u2018He gives her class, she gives him sex appeal.\u2019 I think that was us, but the other way round. Separately, David and I were both famous, and together we could become a brand. And that is what happened but it wasn\u2019t what I was thinking when he said, after I\u2019d finished the negroni, \u2018Funny thing is, there\u2019s a suite waiting for us, upstairs.\u2019
\n       \u2018Oh, really? Just in case you\u2019re too wasted to drive home or find a taxi?\u2019
\n       \u2018I was just thinking it would be more private.\u2019
\n       \u2018Of course, you were. Of course.\u2019
\n       And I did want to laugh, I really wanted to laugh but I managed to stop myself, because you know, looking like a hyena or a chipmunk.
\n       So we got up and walked across the bar with lots of eyes on us, thinking, is this Posh and Becks on their first date? Well it was.
\n       \u2018Here\u2019s a funny thing,\u2019 he said in the lift. \u2018The manager told me that beneath us there\u2019s like – another hotel, all underground. It\u2019s where the kitchens and laundry and all that stuff are, and it\u2019s the same miles of corridor as us up here, but full of waiters and chambermaids rushing about.\u2019
\n       That\u2019s the world, isn\u2019t it? Some of us in a suite, some of us in the kitchen. We were suite people.
\n       The lift reached our floor and we walked around for ages, that was the size of the place. Outside Manchester stretched in all directions. He hadn\u2019t asked how I was getting back to London or where I was staying or anything. There was a flight from the airport and I had a ticket but I hadn\u2019t decided anything. It was just a first date, that was all. When we got to the suite it was exactly what I expected, with a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket and an open box of chocolates and a platter of cheese and biscuits, (like I ever ate sugar or carbs). We went on talking, we asked each other about our lives and how we felt about being famous, which is a conversation you can only have with someone who is also famous, because what we call civilians will never get it. They think it\u2019s all adulation and autographs.
\n       And maybe something he said made me laugh, I couldn\u2019t help myself, he had got under my skin, and that hyena face didn\u2019t put him off, not at all. I\u2019m not going into how I ended up deciding to stay, but after that, whenever we were on tour and playing Manchester I\u2019d say, \u2018Well, girls, we\u2019ve got to stay at the Midland,\u2019 and I\u2019d sneak him up. It was our special place, our happy place. The staff were very accommodating, they took him through those miles of underground tunnels to reach me because we VIPs are always having to come in and go out through back entrances and the idea now of having a drink in the bar of hotel is just impossible.
\n       I wonder if that night of our first date was the last time I laughed in public. Or if I went on laughing for a while but it became more and more self-conscious. I don\u2019t mean I don\u2019t laugh in private, at home with David and the kids. I\u2019m not that up myself, but it seemed to me, when I was falling in love with him, that the wattage of the media\u2019s attention was going to be far greater than when I was just a Spice. I know the power of brands, I can\u2019t remember not being part of one, and so I can\u2019t risk it, laughing.
\n       At the moment we have two lovely homes and everything has to be perfect, I\u2019m a brand ambassador for my own clothing line which is a little bit Halston, a little bit Chanel. I know that it\u2019s really me and David, not me as a self-made woman who has created all this, that we forged something out of two celebrity parts. There\u2019s so much in my life to smile about, and I do smile, really I do. But I do it in the house. It\u2019s what you do behind closed doors. And if you really knew me, you\u2019d understand that inside I\u2019m just one huge smile.<\/p>\n

by Linda Grant<\/strong><\/p>\n

Linda Grant was appointed Writer in Residence at The Midland hotel in Spring 2018, and was commissioned by The Midland and Manchester Literature Festival to write a short story inspired by her stay. The resulting story, Posh, was performed at a special Afternoon Tea event in The Midland\u2019s Lancaster Suite on Thursday 11th October 2018, as part of the 2018 Manchester Literature Festival. <\/p>\n

Manchester Literature Festival
\nThe Department Store
\n5 Oak Street
\nManchester
\nM4 5JD
\nwww.manchesterliteraturefestival.co.uk <\/a>
\nCopyright \u00a9 Linda Grant <\/p>\n

Manchester Literature Festival would like to thank The Midland Hotel, Arts Council England and Manchester City Council for their generous support.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Posh \u2018I think you\u2019re going to like this place,\u2019 he said \u2018it\u2019s posh.\u2019        And I laughed, because actually it was a good, if obvious joke and I liked him for making it and no, I didn\u2019t think he was making fun of me. 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