A small caf\u00e9, lunchtime. Ryan sits alone, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He watches people as they pass him by, looking for her. Short, blonde, very sarcastic: that\u2019s all the information James has given him. Ryan is thirsty, but he thinks it best to wait. Polite.
\n \u2018Hello.\u2019 A woman, short and blonde. It\u2019s too early to tell if she\u2019s sarcastic or not. She helps herself to a seat at the table while Ryan tries to pull together a smile. She\u2019s pretty.
\n \u2018Ryan?\u2019
\n \u2018Yes.\u2019 He should know her name, but it eludes him. The moment passes.
\n \u2018Julia,\u2019 she says, picking up a menu. Ryan does the same, but he doesn\u2019t really read any of it. He\u2019ll see what she orders before he looks at anything. If she chooses something vegetarian, he will as well. If she goes for something on the \u2018Light Bites\u2019 menu, so will he. If she only orders a drink, he will too.
\n In the end, they both order paninis and find themselves arguing over films as they eat. <\/p>\n
Another caf\u00e9, another lunchtime. Ryan smiles as he spots her sitting at a table. He makes a joke about Indiana Jones \u2013 knowing how much Julia hates that series \u2013 and the conversation picks up where they left it. They\u2019re eating burgers instead of paninis this time and the staff here are much less friendly, but other than that everything is the same.
\n \u2018How\u2019s the burger?\u2019 he says.
\n \u2018Tastes how you\u2019d expect a burger to. Burger-y.\u2019 After a few minutes she says, \u2018You know, I could really go for a drink after this.\u2019
\n \u2018Oh yeah?\u2019
\n \u2018Five o\u2019clock isn\u2019t too early, is it?\u2019
\n \u2018I\u2019ve drunk earlier before.\u2019
\n She smiles. \u2018All right, Mr. Alcoholic. Do you know any places nearby?\u2019
\n He does.<\/p>\n
She clicks her tongue. \u2018I\u2019ll admit it, I\u2019m surprised.\u2019
\n \u2018What? You didn\u2019t think I could cook?\u2019
\n \u2018No, no \u2013 this is lovely though. I was actually referring to your flat.\u2019
\n \u2018What about it?\u2019
\n \u2018It\u2019s clean. I was expecting some sort of dingy man-cave.\u2019
\n \u2018Not sure if I should take that as an insult or a compliment.\u2019 After a few minutes: \u2018So what\u2019s your place like then? Dingy woman-cave?\u2019
\n \u2018Not at all.\u2019
\n \u2018Sure?\u2019
\n \u2018My flat would put yours to shame.\u2019
\n \u2018So we can eat there next time?\u2019
\n \u2018Of course. Just so long as we get takeaway.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018So what do you think?\u2019
\n \u2018Dingy woman-cave.\u2019<\/p>\n
He kicks the vending machine again. It makes a defiant clunk and gives them nothing. Ryan and Julia are standing in the hotel corridor at a time not far off 1am. Most of the lights are off, and no one else is around. The place smells like wet socks. Ryan takes a break from kicking and turns to Julia.
\n \u2018Why are you standing all the way over there?\u2019
\n \u2018In case the alarm goes off. I want a head-start.\u2019
\n \u2018It\u2019s a vending machine.\u2019
\n \u2018It\u2019s private property.\u2019 Julia flicks her head upwards. \u2018Plus I want to stay out of the CCTV\u2019s view.\u2019
\n Ryan looks up, squinting through the dim light. \u2018It\u2019s\u2026 I don\u2019t think that\u2019s even working. Besides, I\u2019m the one in the right. I ordered a packet of crisps and\u2026\u2019
\n \u2018Ordered?\u2019 Julia breaks into a fit of laughter. \u2018Jesus, you\u2019re making it sound like a waiter at a restaurant. It\u2019s a bloody vending machine.\u2019 Ryan does not laugh as well. He\u2019s too tired. Too tired and too hungry.
\n \u2018We need to eat something,\u2019 he says.
\n \u2018Ready-salted crisps do make for a romantic dinner.\u2019
\n \u2018How was I supposed to know nowhere would be open? I thought there\u2019d at least be a 24-hour place or something.\u2019 He sighs and slumps down against the wall. \u2018Sorry. I\u2019ve messed everything up, haven\u2019t I?\u2019
\n \u2018Don\u2019t be stupid.\u2019 Julia walks over to him and places her hand on his head. With her other hand, she pulls out a packet of mints and offers one to Ryan. \u2018Polos for dinner?\u2019<\/p>\n
Ryan\u2019s flat. There\u2019s a sprawl of DVDs over the floor, with various bits of food packaging dotted throughout. He and Julia are sat on the sofa, a lifeboat in a sea of mess, with pizza boxes on their laps. A film is playing on the TV, but neither of them are paying attention.
\n \u2018You know,\u2019 says Julia, \u2018this pizza is pretty depressing.\u2019
\n \u2018In what way?\u2019
\n \u2018Knowing that I\u2019ll never be able to make anything that tastes this good. I mean, I\u2019d pick a takeaway pizza over any other food any day. You could present me with a flawless, perfect souffl\u00e9 and I don\u2019t think it would come anywhere close to tasting as good as a ham and pineapple pizza.\u2019
\n \u2018Well, I\u2019d personally take a souffl\u00e9 over a pizza with\u2026\u2019
\n \u2018Let\u2019s not get into the whole pineapple thing again.\u2019
\n \u2018I\u2019m just saying…\u2019
\n \u2018Nope, nope, nope.\u2019
\n Ryan shakes his head and smiles. \u2018Do you want another glass of wine?\u2019
\n \u2018See, that\u2019s the sort of thing you should be saying.\u2019
\n Ryan puts his pizza box on the floor and gets up. He heads into the kitchen and pours out two glasses of wine \u2013 though he sips away most of his on the way back to the sofa.
\n After handing Julia her glass, Ryan says, \u2018You\u2019ve been hanging out here a lot lately.\u2019
\n \u2018Well, I don\u2019t have to wash up here, do I?\u2019 She smiles \u2013 then frowns. \u2018Wait, are you saying that I come over too often?\u2019
\n \u2018No, no. God no.\u2019 He sips his wine. \u2018I just, well\u2026\u2019 Sip. \u2018I just wanted to ask you something\u2026\u2019 Sip. \u2018Do you want to move in together?\u2019
\n \u2018If you think you can put up with me, then yes. Yes.\u2019<\/p>\n
The four of them are sat around a table in the living room. It\u2019s a fold-up one that Ryan and Julia only get out when people come over to eat: parents, friends, siblings, colleagues. Jo and Richard are here tonight \u2013 Julia went to university with them. After some teasing, Ryan found out that she used to have a crush on Richard.
\n They\u2019re eating Chinese.
\n \u2018So,\u2019 says Julia, swallowing a mouthful of chicken chow-mein, \u2018I didn\u2019t want to bring this up until one of you two mentioned it, but\u2026 Well, I think I should address the elephant in the room.\u2019
\n \u2018Come on, Juls,\u2019 says Jo. \u2018I\u2019m not that big.\u2019
\n \u2018So how long have you been pregnant for? Why didn\u2019t you tell me?\u2019
\n \u2018It\u2019s been a few months,\u2019 says Jo. \u2018I would\u2019ve told you before, but I didn\u2019t really know how to bring it up. Phoning you just to say I\u2019m pregnant… It seems a bit self-congratulatory, doesn\u2019t it?\u2019
\n \u2018You\u2019re pregnant, you can be as self-congratulatory as you want.\u2019
\n \u2018Don\u2019t say that,\u2019 says Richard.
\n They all laugh and Jo gives Richard a thump. Ryan and Julia exchange smiles, and she gives him a quick kiss.
\n After the meal is over, Ryan takes everybody\u2019s plates into the kitchen, and Julia follows him to talk about things.<\/p>\n
Lunchtime. Ryan eats his sandwich while Julia talks to Jo on the phone. He can only hear half of the conversation, but he knows they\u2019re talking about baby names. Every now and then she glances at him.<\/p>\n
Ryan stirs his spoon around in the pool of tomato soup in front of him. It came from a tin and gives off a strong artificial smell. He is trying to avoid Julia\u2019s eyes.
\n \u2018So?\u2019 she says.
\n \u2018So maybe.\u2019
\n Julia lets out a laugh. It\u2019s impossible to tell if it\u2019s one of annoyance or amusement. Maybe it\u2019s both. Julia finished her soup a few minutes ago, and has even mopped around the inside of her bowl with a slice of bread.
\n \u2018You know how much I love this place,\u2019 she says. \u2018But we can\u2019t stay here forever. It\u2019s so small \u2013 it\u2019s like a stone tomb. Though, admittedly, a comfy one.\u2019
\n \u2018I think it\u2019s fine.\u2019
\n \u2018Yeah, but will you feel the same way in a couple of years? We might as well get out while we can still look back on this place fondly.\u2019
\n \u2018Can we talk about this later?\u2019<\/p>\n
There is nothing to eat except beans on toast, so that\u2019s what they have.
\n \u2018God,\u2019 says Julia, \u2018it\u2019s not that hard to make a reservation, is it?\u2019
\n \u2018Sorry, it slipped my mind.\u2019
\n \u2018Yeah, but…I just thought because it\u2019s our anniversary…I thought you could pretend to care a little bit.\u2019
\n \u2018Julia.\u2019
\n \u2018Sorry, that was mean.\u2019
\n Ryan sets his cutlery down. \u2018I do care. I care about you. I just…\u2019
\n \u2018You just what? I try to talk to you about things, I try to talk about us, and you always just brush me off.\u2019
\n Ryan clears his throat. \u2018We\u2019ll go out tomorrow \u2013 I\u2019ll book somewhere really fancy. I promise.\u2019<\/p>\n
A busy restaurant. The high ceilings and multiple chandeliers make Ryan feel underdressed despite wearing his best shirt. He tells Julia to push the boat out as much as she wants \u2013 nothing is too expensive. So, of course, she orders the lobster.
\n The waiter places it down in front of her: a hulking mass of red. She grins at Ryan and says, \u2018I\u2019ll try to refrain from making too many shellfish puns.\u2019
\n Ryan responds with a weak smile and returns his attention to his steak. He doesn\u2019t really touch it, or even lift his knife and fork, he just looks at it.
\n \u2018Ryan, what\u2019s going on?\u2019
\n He looks up. \u2018Sorry, I was just thinking about work stuff. How\u2019s the lobster?\u2019
\n \u2018No, we\u2019re talking about you.\u2019
\n \u2018I\u2019m fine, don\u2019t worry.\u2019
\n \u2018But I do worry, Ryan. So what is it? Why are you acting so mopey all the time? Why do you never want to speak to me about things?\u2019
\n \u2018It\u2019s nothing, I promise.\u2019
\n Julia inhales. \u2018Ryan, I just…Where do you want this relationship to go?\u2019
\n\u2018What\u2019s wrong with where it is now?\u2019<\/p>\n
Ryan has picked up a reduced ready meal from the supermarket: chilli con carne. The two of them sit in the kitchen and sift through their portions, now and then raising their forks to their mouths.
\n Julia drops her cutlery down and gets up. She pulls her handbag up off the back of her chair.
\n \u2018Where are you going?\u2019 says Ryan.
\n \u2018I\u2019m going out,\u2019 she says. \u2018I forgot to mention it before, but I\u2019m meeting some friends.\u2019
\n \u2018Okay.\u2019
\n Ryan feels like he should say something \u2013 she wants him to say something \u2013 but he doesn\u2019t know what. After she leaves, he picks up the two plates in turn and scrapes them off into the bin.<\/p>\n
A chicken korma ready meal.<\/p>\n
A spaghetti Bolognese ready meal.<\/p>\n
A cottage pie ready meal.<\/p>\n
A tikka masala ready meal. And raised voices.<\/p>\n
Ryan stands by the microwave and listens to it hum. There are noises coming from the bedroom: rummaging, rustling, thumping. The sounds of Julia feeding her suitcase.
\n She comes into the kitchen and collects some things while he eats his ready meal. Neither of them say anything.<\/p>\n
An American-style diner. It smells of grease. Ryan sits at a table by himself, and, after a brief look at the menu, orders a burger and a glass of diet cola. With that done, he takes out his phone.
\n \u2018Hello,\u2019 he says.
\n \u2018Hi.\u2019
\n \u2018Just wanted to see how you\u2019re doing. Do you know when you\u2019ll be back at all?\u2019
\n Julia does not say anything.
\n \u2018It\u2019s been a couple of weeks.\u2019 He chews on the inside of his cheek. \u2018I just wanted to say that things aren\u2019t right without you. The flat isn\u2019t right. There\u2019s no one to put the DVDs back in the wrong order.\u2019
\n \u2018Funny.\u2019
\n \u2018And I miss you. I really miss you. Everything just feels a bit worthless when you\u2019re not around.\u2019
\n Julia says nothing. No sounds come from the phone except her steady breathing. A waitress places a glass of diet cola in front of Ryan. He takes a sip.
\n \u2018How are Laura and David?\u2019 he says.
\n \u2018You really want to know how my parents are doing?\u2019
\n \u2018I just want you to stay on the phone.\u2019<\/p>\n
A small caf\u00e9, lunchtime. Ryan spots her sat at one of the tables as soon as he enters. He sits down opposite her. Their eyes meet for a second before she turns her attention back to her menu. He picks one up as well, but finds it difficult to read anything. One of them will have to talk eventually \u2013 he knows that is inevitable.
\n But for now, they just sit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One A small caf\u00e9, lunchtime. Ryan sits alone, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He watches people as they pass him by, looking for her. Short, blonde, very sarcastic: that\u2019s all the information James has given him. Ryan is thirsty, but he thinks it best to wait. Polite. \u2018Hello.\u2019 A woman, short and blonde. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":235,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[347,346],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n