{"id":4767,"date":"2015-06-14T22:24:15","date_gmt":"2015-06-14T21:24:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=4767"},"modified":"2015-06-15T10:33:28","modified_gmt":"2015-06-15T09:33:28","slug":"twenty-three-fifteen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=4767","title":{"rendered":"Twenty Three Fifteen"},"content":{"rendered":"

Twenty Three Fifteen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don’t look at the sun.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

This is the last thing
\nthat you tell me
\nbefore you leave.
\nOr one of the last things.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

You could look at it
\nthrough a colander.
\nThat\u2019s another.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

The thought of standing in the garden
\nwith a colander on my head
\nis not appealing.
\nThen I watch a video online.
\nStupid pre-caffeinated me.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I read that the birds will stop singing.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

The first time I kissed you
\nwe were in the dark.
\nI walked you home
\nas the sun came up
\nover Connswater.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

We had been a secret
\nfrom everyone
\nincluding, at first,
\nourselves.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

These last few weeks have been<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I am going downstairs to find the colander.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

The grout between the tiles
\non the bathroom floor
\nbegan to crack and shift
\nas this began to happen.
\nI think about the ground
\nbeneath our feet. The grout
\nsticks to our soles.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I am not sure what just happened.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Black is white and cold is heat.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

These celestial bodies
\noverlapping
\nin full view.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

The sensation of a sharp-edged
\nsliver of grout
\nembedding in a slightly clammy
\nsole
\nthat pads the tiles
\nthis way and that way.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Oh, my appetite for spectacle
\nand for other people\u2019s appetite
\nfor spectacle and for other people\u2019s
\ntweets about their appetite for spectacle.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Like a big dandelion head
\nmade up of wee crescent curves
\nthat piece of paper
\nI held up in the breeze.
\nI couldn\u2019t photograph the shape \u2013
\nthe flowery shadow with its punctures \u2013
\ncos I had the colander in one hand
\nand the paper in the other.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Trending and trending in the widening<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

The night it all came out
\nI had my first panic attack.
\nThen my second
\nand my third.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Bonnie Tyler\u2019s hair
\nis almost as big as ever.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Where am I
\nwithout some digital witness?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

This thing we do
\nthis life we share
\nterrifies me \u2013
\nthe truth our love
\nwithstands.
\nNothing
\nshould be
\nthis real,
\nsurely,
\nthese flimsy days?<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I know you told me not to but I looked.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Self-portrait with red plastic
\nSwedish-made
\ncolander under my arm.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

There\u2019s this thing
\nyou do with your mouth
\nwhen you zip up your jeans
\nthe same shape
\nevery day
\nsort of an awww
\nsounding shape
\nas if you are going to say
\norange
\nor oracle
\nor ordinary
\nor orbicular
\nor orchestrate
\nor organism
\nor original sin
\nor orientate
\nor orbital.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s do this together
\nin 2026.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

My eyes feel wonky or maybe I\u2019m imagining it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t see them at first,
\nthose sickle-shaped nothings
\nsurrounded by shadow.
\nThe colander was too close
\nto the paper. When I pulled it back
\nI said wow<\/em> then heard my neighbour\u2019s
\nsmartphone click a photo
\nand felt stupid for a moment
\nand then thought she is stupid
\nfor taking a shit photo of the sun
\nand then wanted to share with her
\nthis evidence and then thought
\nI\u2019m probably holding it wrong
\nand those curves are just the curves
\nof the holes in IKEA\u2019s design.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Cloud and moon and sun \u2013
\none obscures another.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a looping time-lapse video online:
\nthe sun contracting then expanding
\nin negative space.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

I love that you
\nunzipped
\nyour mouth
\nunconscious awww
\nevery sleepy morning.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/i>*<\/p>\n

Turn around bright eyes
\ndon\u2019t leave.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Twenty Three Fifteen Don’t look at the sun. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 * This is the last thing that you tell me before you leave. Or one of the last things. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 * You could look at it through a colander. That\u2019s another. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 * The thought of standing in the garden with a colander on my head […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":125,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[320,322],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nTwenty Three Fifteen - The Manchester Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=4767\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Twenty Three Fifteen - The Manchester Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Twenty Three Fifteen Don’t look at the sun. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 * This is the last thing that you tell me before you leave. 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