{"id":2518,"date":"2013-04-17T17:58:01","date_gmt":"2013-04-17T17:58:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518"},"modified":"2013-04-29T15:20:53","modified_gmt":"2013-04-29T15:20:53","slug":"the-childrens-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518","title":{"rendered":"The Children\u2019s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"foyer\"<\/a>
\n 
\nThe Tree reading in the street: \u2018The Frome children, who all even
\nthe boys bore the names of flowers, were making a trifle as
\na surprise for their violin tutor and finding it more
\ndifficult than they\u2019d expected\u2019 gets distracted by hail
\nbeginning to fall. The Possum sings a few words of a marriage
\nsong \u2018Marigold, marry silver, marry marionette\u2019.
\nMarigold tells his sock puppet to get some more custard from
\nthe garden but he\u2019s really speaking to his sister Dahlia
\nwho says \u2018I\u2019ve got a hole in my toe, I don\u2019t think I should go
\nI\u2019ll fill up with snow\u2019. The sock puppet laughs and asks \u2018where the sherry\u2019s
\nall gone, there\u2019s only a trifle left\u2019? \u2018Human Services took
\nit, they were concerned about its misuse\u2019 Dahlia replies
\ndrily. \u2018Oodnad-, Wangar-, Parramatta, carry me back-a\u2019
\nshe sang. The Tree said \u2018what does this note say?\u2019 ‘It says’ said the Possum
\n\u2018\u201cWe\u2019ve taken the violin tutor away\u2019 and it\u2019s signed \u201cthe
\nRats\u201d but the word \u201cRats\u201d is crossed out and replaced with \u201cElves\u201d\u2019. \u2018Uhoh!\u2019
\nsays the Tree. \u2018Uhoh!\u2019 chorus the children watching (unnoticed
\nby the Frome children who don\u2019t know about the note). \u2018Shhh!\u2019 the possum
\nsays \u2018maybe we can get the tutor back without worrying
\nMarigold, Dahlia, Daisy and Phlox\u2019. Just then there was
\na knock on the door. \u2018Human Services! Open up!\u2019 Daisy
\nand Phlox assume the pose of statues. Dahlia strips and jumps
\nin the shower while Marigold opens a window and puts
\nhis pipe in the oven with the trifle. The Tree and the Possum
\nwere too tired to change so drove home \u2013 with the top down \u2013 in costume.
\n\u2018What kind of tree are you Dad?\u2019 asked Riley, colouring in a
\npurple bison. \u2018I\u2019m an oak with eucalyptus leaves.\u2019 Kelly
\nwas flossing in the bathroom when they entered. \u2018Honey you don\u2019t want
\nto keep all your teeth, do you sweetie? Gaps and gold add character\u2019
\nsaid mother Faye. \u2018Oh I\u2019m only preserving them to donate
\nto the Dental Hospital for someone who grew up without teeth.\u2019
\nFaye and Hugh had both been brought up under Dr (of literature)
\nPussy\u2019s Ironic Parenting Regime, and thought their children
\nwere turning out equally well. \u2018Where\u2019s my tail gone?\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s probably
\nstill in the car.\u2019 \u2018What would Human Services say?\u2019 \u2018You\u2019ve taken
\nthis Ironic Parenting Regime far enough Mrs Jekyll\u2019
\nmocked Kelly\u2019s toothbrush. Every object had an opinion in
\nthe Jekyll household. Tina and Blake had made dinner, cold steak
\nand warm coleslaw, with Pineapple Martian Surprise for dessert.
\nFaye and Hugh were so surprised they could barely cry. \u2018More treacle
\nanyone?\u2019 asked Tina in her bear voice. \u2018Ask me in your lamb
\nvoice\u2019 said Riley. She did so and he accepted a spoon to
\nlick. \u2018How were your theatrical offspring today?\u2019 asked Blake. \u2018I
\nthink Marigold\u2019s getting too old\u2019 said Hugh. \u2018He must be nearly
\nthirty.\u2019 \u2018Before the flowers faded friendship faded!\u2019 yelled all
\nthe children at once (Gertrude Stein was a favourite with them).
\n\u2018Permission to speak\u2019 said the treacle spoon. \u2018Permission granted\u2019
\nsaid Riley. \u2018Can we watch the SBS documentary
\non moss now?\u2019 \u2018I wanted to watch Glee\u2019 mumbled Faye. \u2018Glee \u2026 and The
\nNanny Uncut\u2019 whined Hugh. \u2018\u201cMoss Through The Ages\u201d it is!\u2019 they shouted.
\nRiley had an app that fed him the voiceover so
\nhe could do it himself and he muted, as Riley said
\n\u2018Winona Ryder\u2019s not very interesting voice\u2019. But he tripped
\nup on \u2018inexorable\u2019 which meant his narration ended
\nup an eon behind the action, and went on into the
\nstart of series twenty of Working Class Tits: an animation
\nabout a bunch of tits and other small birds that lived on a
\nhousing estate and spent a lot of time drinking, fighting and
\nexperimenting with interspecies breeding. In this
\nepisode, it seemed Gina had passed out through a lack of breathing
\nor perhaps party smoke intoxication, while Tom and Chicka
\nstumbled onto some robins\u2019 eggs while looking for a place to
\ndo something private. It was hard to tell what with no volume.
\nFaye and Hugh had dozed off. \u2018Have they had showers\u2019? asked Tina. \u2018Yes\u2019
\nsaid Kelly. \u2018Just throw a blanket over \u2019em.\u2019 \u2018Oodnad- Wangar-
\nParramatta\u2019 muttered Faye. \u2018We want a story\u2019 said Hugh, rousing.
\nBlake handed them both glasses of milk sprinkled with stovetop crumbs.
\n\u2018Once\u2019 Tina began, flexing her pirate voice, \u2018a Treacle Spoon
\nand a Tooth Brush woke up at the bottom of the garden. It
\nwas a mess. They remonstrated with Marigold, the crew leader
\non the state of things. Marigold wasn\u2019t really suited to
\nthe job. He was prone to tears and stuffing himself with cupcakes
\nand was easily scared by Rats and Elves. \u201cMarigold quits\u201d said
\nMarigold\u2019s sock puppet.\u2019 Blake continued \u2018Teaspoon and Toothbrush
\nfound that they had developed coats of moss while they were asleep.
\nA passing but calm botanist classified them as \u201cTreacla
\nBryophyta\u201d and \u201cToothtatum Bryophyta\u201d. \u201cWe need dampness
\nwe need sunlight\u201d they cried’. \u2018An eccentric but rather attractive
\nyoung girl then collected them for her outdoor boudoir\u2019 added
\nKelly. \u2018\u201cI\u2019ll show you dampness and sunshine\u201d she said \u201cI won\u2019t let
\nthe starving Finns turn you into bread\u201d\u2019. Hugh and Faye were agog
\nby this stage, though feeling a bit green and furry about the
\ngills. \u2018There they lived for many months in the outdoor boudoir
\nreceiving a free education through the girl\u2019s high-level
\nconversation\u2019. \u2018In fact\u2019 interrupted Riley \u2018she only
\never stopped talking to floss\u2019. \u2018So they learnt a lot about dental
\nhygiene as well\u2019 interjected Kelly. \u2018But their learning was
\nof no avail when the invasion of the Teddy Bears occurred.
\nThey were sipping espresso out of ridiculously small
\ncups when three raging Teddy Bears broke into the boudoir and
\nstripped their moss for eyebrows. One even managed a mo. The Spoon
\nand the Brush revelled in their nakedness and everyone began
\nto dance.\u2019 \u2018You\u2019ve been watching Nudie Parent Mashup\u2019 Blake said. \u2018On
\nmute: I can\u2019t stand the narration.\u2019 The story was over. ‘Let\u2019s
\ndance!\u2019 \u2018Let\u2019s floss!\u2019 \u2018Let\u2019s go to bed!\u2019 they variously shouted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Tree reading in the street: \u2018The Frome children, who all even the boys bore the names of flowers, were making a trifle …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":57,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[294],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Children\u2019s Story - The Manchester Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Children\u2019s Story - The Manchester Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Tree reading in the street: \u2018The Frome children, who all even the boys bore the names of flowers, were making a trifle ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Manchester Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-04-17T17:58:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-04-29T15:20:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/foyer.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Michael Farrell\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Michael Farrell\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518\",\"name\":\"The Children\u2019s Story - The Manchester Review\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-04-17T17:58:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-04-29T15:20:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/5053b695c3423ead3818fd329c3d3168\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=2518#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Children\u2019s Story\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/\",\"name\":\"The Manchester Review\",\"description\":\"The Manchester Review\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/5053b695c3423ead3818fd329c3d3168\",\"name\":\"Michael Farrell\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/wp-includes\/images\/blank.gif\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/wp-includes\/images\/blank.gif\",\"caption\":\"Michael Farrell\"},\"description\":\"Michael Farrell's most recent books include Cocky's Joy (Giramondo); the thorn with the boy in its side (Oystercatcher); and a book on Australian poetics, Writing Australian Unsettlement: Modes of Poetic Invention, 1796-1945 (Palgrave Macmillan). 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