{"id":12620,"date":"2024-11-26T20:40:53","date_gmt":"2024-11-26T19:40:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=12620"},"modified":"2024-11-26T22:49:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-26T21:49:09","slug":"belief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=12620","title":{"rendered":"Belief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/Flower-15-e1732646829413.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"648\" height=\"990\" \/><br \/><span style=\"font-size: 12px;\">Image: \u00a9 Manchester Museum, The University of Manchester<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut you have to believe.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>We are standing in her kitchen<br \/>In front of the stove.<\/p>\n<p>That urgency in my grandmother\u2019s voice<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 soft, yet\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 desperate?<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Catches me off guard for a moment.<\/p>\n<p>As though my certainty\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0shook\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0her own.<br \/>Such comfort in conviction.<\/p>\n<p>Such conviction in me a comfort\u00a0 \u00a0 <br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 loosened<\/p>\n<p>I almost loathed myself.<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 as though I were<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 questioning her unquestioning faith<br \/>I felt I owed her more.<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0And yet,\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<br \/>I could never lie\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0to her.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 But you have to believe.<br \/><\/em>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 As if there was no choice.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The chocolate-coloured carpet tiles stare back \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 at me.<br \/>They know. <br \/>That belief was squeezed out \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 of me,<br \/>By<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0curiosity<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0crisis<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0critique\u00a0<br \/>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0choice.<\/p>\n<p>You should not question<br \/>in a land where questions of, on belief <br \/>can get you killed.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>____<\/p>\n<p><em>Laura Mills (she\/her) is an academic in the University of St Andrews School of International Relations. Her creative work has received multiple awards, with her poetry\u00a0appearing\/forthcoming in\u00a0publications such as\u00a0<i>Aimsir<\/i>,<i>\u00a0Anodyne Magazine<\/i>,\u00a0<i>Last Stanza Poetry Journal<\/i>,\u00a0<i>Needle Poetry<\/i>,\u00a0<i>Survive and Thrive<\/i>,\u00a0<i>Amaranth Journal,<\/i>\u00a0<i>The Candid Review<\/i>,\u00a0<i>Inter-View,\u00a0<\/i>and\u00a0<i>Stony Thursday Poetry Book<\/i>, and featured as best practice in the Gregynog Ideas Lab. Originally from Northern Ireland, she now lives in Scotland.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Image: \u00a9 Manchester Museum, The University of Manchester \u201cBut you have to believe.\u201d\u00a0 We are standing in her kitchenIn front of the stove. That urgency in my grandmother\u2019s voice\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 soft, yet\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 desperate?\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":389,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[376,425,428,405],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.2.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Belief - The Manchester Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.themanchesterreview.co.uk\/?p=12620\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Belief - The Manchester Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Image: \u00a9 Manchester Museum, The University of Manchester \u201cBut you have to believe.\u201d\u00a0 We are standing in her kitchenIn front of the stove. 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